LIFE: Living in Fulfillment Every Day

Pushing the Trigger. New Weekly Wisdom for LIFE!

2012-02-22T18:42:00.000-08:00

Another excerpt from the book LIFE:
Grace talks about triggers ... What are some of yours?

“Back at the deck, I told you that your parents weren’t the real problem; your thoughts on the subject were. I realize that hit a nerve, for which I apologize. But if you were living from your soul instead of the ego, you wouldn’t be affected emotionally by what your parents did or didn’t do, or what they said or didn’t say. You see, when you live from your soul, it’s not as if the world stops doing what it did previously to trigger you; the situations in your life don’t just morph into something ‘perfect’ and wonderful. Instead, your entire perception about life changes. So, even though others may be trying to push your buttons, as far as you’re concerned, there are no more buttons to be pushed."

Tag I'm It

2012-02-20T12:22:00.000-08:00

Rebecca Holfman's Blog

LIFE has been tagged by Rebecca Holfman, and I am supposed to answer these questions...
Okay Rebecca I'm game!! :)

1. What is one "mistake" that has changed you the most?

There are no such things as mistakes, just experience. And everything that has happened to me in my life has helped shape me into the person I am now. And I love my life! :)

2. What is your dream car?

Mercedes- Benz SLS AMG in Silver - like the one in Transformers 3!

3. What one thing do you wish to achieve in your future?

LIFE as a New York Times Bestseller!

4. What inspires you?

My family, my children, my friends, other writers. People who dance, laugh and play because they are authentic and because it makes them happy.

5. Do you prefer to write with a pen, pencil, keyboard, or some other utensil?

I prefer pen for freehand brainstorming and the keyboard for the nitty-gritty stuff.

6. If a multi-millionaire offered to buy you one thing, what would you choose?

An indoor swimming pool.

7. What is your favorite thing to do on a day off?

Nap

8. Do you sing in the shower or dance in your living room?

Both - all the time :)

9. Quick, write down the first song lyric you think of!

'Dancing slowly in an empty room, can the lonely take the place of you.' Course I am listening to Lonely by Christina Perri as I type - so that might not be totally spontaneous.

10. If you could share one bit of advice with the world, what would it be?

Never give up on your dreams! Follow what feels good and have fun! :)

In gratitude,

Marissa

Hungry like a wolf!

2012-02-17T09:11:00.003-08:00

When I was very young, I had a reoccurring nightmare of a black, shaggy wolf with red piercing eyes. I would hear him panting and snarling outside my window. When I tried to run out of my room he would pounce and land on my long, white dresser. Hackles standing on the back of his neck, he would just stare, his canines sharp and dripping as he held my terrified gaze.

At night lying in my bed alone in the dark, my eyes would dart fitfully between the shadows and the looming window. I hated to be alone in that bedroom at night. The window took up half the available wall space and hid behind heavy, pink, floor to ceiling curtains. I was petrified that the wolf was lurking behind those closed curtains, that if they moved, he would be right there, staring in my window. If I had to get up for a glass of water or use the bathroom, my heart would pound and my hands would sweat just holding the doorknob. Was he waiting in the long dark hallway for me? Would he appear out of the menacing shadows to devour me?

As I grew older the dream faded. By the time I was a teenager the dream disappeared altogether. I was no longer the timid little girl I had been. I lashed out. I rebelled. I fought the man. I fought my parents. I broke rules, just because I could. I hung out with the wrong crowd. I swore, I ranted, I laughed, I danced, I played—I had a blast.

Then I grew older still, and I conformed. I caved in. I fell prey to other people’s expectations. I towed the line. I kept my mouth shut. I struggled to keep up with the Joneses. I repressed my desires, my dreams, and my passions. On the outside I appeared happy and content. I had the house, the car— the 1.5 children. But silently, inside I stewed and seethed. I was miserable. I was diminished. I was suffocating.

Around this time wolves began reappearing in my nocturnal journeys. No longer black with red eyes, they appeared in their natural form, in their natural habitats, lurking behind trees, watching from fields and valleys. While no longer supernatural, they nonetheless instilled fear in the dreamer me and I would wake with a thundering heart and clammy hands.

Theories abound regarding the purpose of dreams and their mystical interpretations. One theory suggests that whatever we are dreaming about is the nervous system’s way of releasing pent up emotions and feelings—things we were not able to confront and move through in our waking lives. On an outing to a northern aboriginal community I met a shaman. He told me I had been misinterpreting my dreams. The wolf was not trying to attack me or hurt me; he was trying to talk to me. The wolf was my ally. He was a messenger. He represented the anger I had been repressing and I needed to confront it.

We don’t always receive such vivid images and clues about the negativity we are holding inside—the emotions and feelings that are slowly and methodically eating us alive. Sometimes they manifest in more elusive ways like intermittent chest pain, back and neck tightness or gastrointestinal issues. Often we hear the term ‘dis-ease’—the concept that whatever is causing us ‘dis’-comfort is causing physical disease. Science has proven that stress can cause disease in the body, and it can exacerbate already pre-existing conditions. It is essential to recognize the wolves, tigers, piranhas or parasites that we are carrying around inside us—the negative emotions and feelings that we shove deep down inside, brushing them under the rug because they seem too huge, too overpowering, and we are afraid to confront them.

Whether you rely on a counsellor or physician to help you move through your pain, or find solitary constructive ways to release your negative emotions and energy by engaging in activities such as writing, painting, running, yoga or meditation, it is imperative to address them so you can release them from your body, mind, and soul.

I no longer have wolves in my dreams. I have learned how to constructively release my anger, frustration and pain by engaging in things I enjoy, things that are important to me like writing, yoga, dancing and laughing. We cannot allow pain to take up residence and move in. We need to let go of anything that has held us back from experiencing joy in the present moment and it is essential to address negativity the instant it occurs. Sticks and stones won’t break my bones, and names no longer hurt! I acknowledge when I don’t feel good. I put my emotions and feelings into words. If I am angry at how someone has treated me, I let them know—in an empathetic and respective manner of course! But I do not let the anger simmer and boil, and I never take it out on someone else. My anger, my sadness, guilt or frustration is my own personal reaction to a situation, and I always address situations that cause feelings of discomfort. I don’t wallow in second guessing; I don’t wade in sorrowful waters. I step out of the muck and let the sludge slide off—like water off a duck's back, negativity can’t stick to me. And if you can find a way to honour what is important to you, if you can stand up for yourself and your dreams and desires, if you make more time to enjoy the things you love, that you are passionate about, you too can walk away from the ravenous wolves forever!

In gratitude,
Marissa

Heaven on Earth! New Weekly Wisdom for LIFE!

2012-02-14T15:15:00.000-08:00

Enjoy another taste of LIFE!

“I know this may upset some people to hear, but Heaven is not up there.” Grace pointed to the sky and smiled. “It’s in those brilliant, beautiful moments when our mind stills. The idea is to make those moments last until we are living Heaven on Earth. When we experience that bliss, it is a loss to have our mental chatter take it away from us. The good news is, once our soul has had a taste of that experience, it will go out of its way to experience it again, drawing us to find that quiet centre. Our soul is compelled to experience joy, and it will naturally be drawn to things that make us feel joyful.”

“Do you mean like the joy I feel when I’m painting or gardening?” Eve asked.

“Yes, absolutely. For others it could be dancing, working out or playing with their children. Anything at all that allows us to feel joy in our lives is an expression of our soul shining forth.

“The point is to find more time to enjoy those activities that offer us the best chance for peace and joy. Unfortunately, we needlessly fill too much of our time with superfluous actions that make us seem busy. Think quality, not quantity, here. We will actually keep ourselves constantly doing something or going somewhere, just to avoid slowing down. Now, there’s a good, defensive reason for this. If we are not in touch with our soul, or true essence, if we are not living life in the centre of that wheel, then whenever we actually do slow down, our mind is filled with negativity, worry or just plain exhausting mental noise. Who wants to be in communion with that?”

Excerpt from Chapter One!!

2012-02-13T05:25:00.001-08:00

Chapter 1—An Unprecedented Encounter

Eve stood looking out over the lightening water. The sun was just beneath the horizon, and the mist floated serenely above the lake’s surface. She sighed. It was the last day of her vacation, and she wasn’t in any real hurry to get back. After nothing but sun, sand and water, she felt a real reluctance about saying good-bye to the beach and the summer. It had been a wonderful vacation, though, and she didn’t really understand the feeling of melancholy that was settling deep within her bones. It’s not as if she thought the vacation could last forever. No, that wasn’t it. It was a disappointment of sorts, she assumed, but disappointment about what?

She considered the job she was returning to but waved that away with an imaginary hand. She liked her job—well, most of it anyway. Despite some minor tension with a co-worker, she loved what she was doing and really enjoyed interacting with the customers.

She felt anticipatory strain about getting the kids ready and off to school, but she was grateful that they seemed happy, or at least resigned, about their impending fate. She’d had a wonderful time with her husband, holding hands as they walked along the beach, kids splashing through the waves beside them. They even stole furtive kisses now and then as they sat side by side, soaking up the sun’s glorious rays. She even had a tan, which was nothing short of miraculous, given her very pale skin tone. She had light blonde hair and grey-blue eyes and had always been wary of tarrying too long in the sun. But this week she had thrown caution to the wind—well, as much as could be considered daring while armed with SPF 60—and had managed to acquire a respectably healthy glow.

She shook her head in confusion. No, she was happy with everything in her life, yet she could not deny the downward pull stirring from deep within, though she couldn’t tell from where it was coming or where it was leading.

“You seem troubled,” announced a voice from behind her.

Eve turned around to see an attractive young woman with long blonde hair that cascaded in soft waves down over her shoulders smiling at her from one of the beach chairs on the deck. She had the most striking blue eyes Eve had ever seen. They were a bright cerulean blue, like an icy glacial lake reflecting the brilliance of a noon sky.

“Yes, I suppose I am.” Eve shyly smiled back.

“Hard to leave, isn’t it?” She tilted her head slightly, her eyes gazing out over the calm, peaceful water.

Eve walked over, sat down on the only other chair on the deck and stared meditatively out over the lake. The first rays of sunlight were shining up over the horizon, breaking the mist’s caress on the water’s surface as it rose in feathery wisps.

“Yes,” she said resolutely, “it is.”

They were both silent for some time as they watched the morning sun crest the sandy dunes, its golden rays caressing the treetops as the mist and water shimmered with their beautiful dance.

“Do you come up here often?” Eve asked, reluctantly taking her eyes away from the view.

The woman smiled at her. “No, this is my first time here. It’s absolutely beautiful, isn’t it?”

“I’ve been on several vacations, but this is by far the best one I’ve ever had. It was a real joy just to be a part of these lovely surroundings.” She smiled back. Reaching over the arm of the chair, she extended her hand to the young woman. “My name’s Eve, by the way.”

“I’m Grace. Pleased to meet you.” She smiled and reached across the small void between the chairs, cordially shaking Eve’s hand. “You seemed deep in thought. If you don’t mind my asking, is something bothering you?”

Eve leaned back into her chair and sighed. “No, I don’t mind your asking. But to be honest with you, I’m not exactly sure what’s troubling me.” She looked over at Grace and shrugged her shoulders in defeat. “I had a wonderful week. Perhaps it’s just hard to leave, after all,” she answered.

“Hmm. Could be, I suppose, but you don’t sound terribly convinced,” Grace replied, looking intently at Eve.

Eve laughed. “No, I guess I’m not.” She sat in quiet reflection for a moment. How do I describe a feeling I, myself, don’t even understand? “I’m just down, I guess.” She looked across at Grace. “I can’t really explain it. I just don’t feel … right. I really did have a wonderful vacation. There’s just no rational reason for me to feel the way I do.”

“Being rational, I suspect, has little to do with it,” Grace offered.

Eve smiled politely but quickly dropped back into her silent musing. She felt a deep inner desire to just unload everything, to discharge, to release all her burdens onto this complete stranger. But wouldn’t that be selfish of me? she wondered, to encumber this poor woman with all my issues? Besides, how could this woman possibly relate to all the various intricacies in my life? Does she have kids too? Is she married or working? She doubted it, looking across at Grace. She seemed far too serene to be responsible for children, a husband and a career to boot.

“Are you here by yourself?” Grace interrupted her reverie.

“Oh, no, I’m here with my family. My husband took our two boys out fishing this morning, so I have the day to myself. What about you?”

Grace smiled. “That seems to be a popular hobby around here. My husband got up at a ridiculous hour to take our kids fishing down at the old mill. Perhaps they’ll run into each other in their quests for the prize catch of the day.”

They sat smiling at their shared coincidences for a moment. But when Eve’s eyes travelled back over the water, the veil of melancholy slipped quickly over her features again, and she let the mood pull her back down as she dropped deep into thought. She looked over at Grace and, deciding to throw caution to the wind, she inquired, “Do you ever feel as though you’re not completely fulfilled? That there is really nothing major to worry about or complain about and yet … and yet you just don’t seem happy?” She struggled to clarify. “I mean, I am happy. I’m happy with my life and my situation but …” She paused. “I just don’t know.” She tucked a wayward lock of hair behind her ear, searching for elucidation and feeling utterly lost.

“I used to,” Grace replied honestly, “but I don’t anymore. I found what I was looking for.”

“Really?” Eve’s interest was piqued. “And what was that?”

Grace smiled. “Why, the same thing that you’re searching for, I suppose. I wanted to feel fulfilled and whole, and,” she replied, her smile growing wider, “now I do.”

“And just how did you manage that?” Eve wondered.

“Well …” Grace stretched languorously. “I started looking in the right places.”

What are you afraid of?

2012-02-07T10:08:00.000-08:00

Madonna. One word conjures up so many images, opinions, and judgments. When you add two more: Halftime Show, the world goes crazy! Let me be clear right up front, I love Madonna: always have, always will. But let me tell you why she inspires me as it pertains to living a life of happiness and fulfillment.

When we join this wonderful life experience, from the moment we are conceived to the moment we take our last breaths, we are subjected to everyone else’s opinions, judgements, biases, and prejudices. The trick is to not let those beliefs influence us. When we are young this is almost impossible. We are heavily influenced by our parents, our siblings, our friends, the media, our society, our teachers, our government and our entire global framework. They send us a plethora of messages; we filter some, but absorb others thus creating an image, an idea about ourselves—who we are and how we fit into the world around us.

We tend to cling to that constructed image of ourselves because when we step outside other people’s expectations and opinions we run the risk of being rejected. Many of us will continue believing something, or saying or doing things that others want to hear or see, just to remain within their comfortable circle of influence. We do this out of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment.

What type of clothes do you wear? What type of house do you want? What type of job is acceptable? Simple questions, but deep inside our choices are typically influenced by others. As a teenager, if you wore different clothes from your friends would your peer group ridicule you, or oust you? If all your friends have big expensive houses with fashionable furnishings, would you buy a smaller home that you could actually afford and place meagre belongings in it? Would you worry about inviting your ‘better off’ friends over for coffee? Do you want to be an artist, a singer, a dancer, a writer, but feel you need to get that executive position to prove to everyone you’ve made it? It’s rare we think this deeply about the motivation behind our actions and decisions. But what is really motivating those choices is fear. When we push against the current, when we stand up for what we want and what makes us truly happy, we risk rubbing those around us the wrong way. We risk censure or possible exile from our comfortable groups, from our comfortable lives.

Enter Madonna. I am quite confident Madonna has fears. And I am sure society’s condemnation of her actions on occasion has smarted considerably. But it has never stopped her from doing what she wants to do. It has never stopped her from being who she really is. She has passion, she has vitality—and she has guts. Guts to step outside of society’s comfort zone, guts to push against other people’s opinions and judgments. She may have fears, but she doesn’t let them stop her.

A lot of the backlash I read about her performance at the Super Bowl Halftime Show stemmed around her age. At fifty-three apparently she needs to pack it all in and stop performing. Stop doing something she loves, stop engaging in something that invigorates and enlivens her. I hope at one hundred years old none of us stop doing what it is we enjoy—what it is we genuinely love.

Don’t let fear of rejection stop you dead in your tracks. Don’t let fear detract from what you want to do in life. Don’t let it influence who you want to be. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, removed from everyone else’s expectations and judgments. Get out there on your own personal stage and give this life experience the best damn show on earth: YOU!

In gratitude,

Marissa

Are you acting out of Fear? New Weekly Wisdom for LIFE!

2012-02-07T09:10:00.000-08:00

“We are all very good at allowing someone else’s opinions to influence and determine what we think and do. We feel we should act a certain way, and this will always imply that there is a deep expectation from our tribal roots, pulling us back into a familiar way of reacting to life. It is a knee-jerk, unconscious reaction because we feel, based on past influence, that we are supposed to behave a certain way—to fit in, to be worthy, to be appreciated, to be loved, to be successful, to be accepted.” Grace’s beautiful blue eyes softened as she smiled. “When we act from this perspective, from these beliefs, we are acting out of fear—fear of failure, fear of abandonment, fear of rejection.

Want a copy of LIFE? Here it is!

2012-02-03T18:44:00.000-08:00

We are ecstatic to announce that LIFE was launched on January 23, 2012!

Grab your copy today under $15.00!!

Amazon.com

Barnes and Noble.com

Amazon.ca

Indigo
Google Free Preview!

Available on NOOK or KOBO for under $4.00!!

We look forward to hearing your feedback!

Breaking the Cycle of Suffering

2012-01-31T14:05:00.000-08:00

Overcoming the hold of the past is essential to moving forward into a present of happiness and fulfillment. Recently, I had a conversation with a friend of mine, and we were talking about how absolutely necessary it is to not take anything anyone ever says to us personally. She commented that while this may be true, it’s a lot easier said than done. And it’s another thing altogether, she said, when someone does something terrible or unspeakable to us.

Taking things personally keeps us locked in a cycle of misery and suffering. If someone has said something negative to us, or done something negative to us, we tend to keep that memory alive and well, allowing it to infer with our present day happiness. We need to recognize the past’s influence on our life and learn to let go of the pain.

If something has happened in the past we cannot change it. Wishing it was something other than what it was, causes continual suffering. Happiness requires letting things go. This is not about justifying someone’s terrible or unspeakable actions, nor is it necessarily about forgiveness. What we need to appreciate is that blame, hatred, guilt, shame, or anger, are all powerful emotions that require considerable effort to maintain them.

Think about that for a moment. If you were suddenly afflicted with amnesia and woke up unable to remember anything at all about the past ... how much more energy would you have to engage in the things you want to do? How much easier would it be to become the person you’ve always wanted to be and have the life you’ve always wanted to have? You would still be the same person—physically nothing would have changed—but you would have lost the albatross of the past from around your neck.

The essential thing to realize is that we are not our pasts. And we do not need them to exist. Our memories, good or bad, if erased would not stop us from living and being. It would just be different, a clean slate so to speak, to start again.

When things are said to us, or happen to us, we tend to lock a little bit of that experience away deep inside where it gets trapped in our tissues and in our cells causing dis-ease. It affects us because we take it personally. We own that misfortune, we own that pain. We believe the negative things we are told; we are trampled by the horrible things people say about us; we are crushed by the terrible things people do to us. These things didn’t happen to someone else ... they happened to us. Why? Did we deserve them? Were we weak? Were we stupid, fat, ugly, pathetic, clumsy, bossy, mouthy, or childish? The labels people use to describe us, or the reasons people give for mistreating us are just that—someone else’s labels, reasons, opinion, and judgments.

What makes their judgments, their opinions the right ones? Why should we believe what they said about us? Why should we take to heart what they did, and why they did it? Who are they to tell us who we are and what we deserve? They are ghosts from the past. They are phantoms haunting our present, robbing our happiness, stealing our chances at a bright, glorious future.

Don’t let them hold you back a moment longer. Take away their power. Let go of the past. Give yourself a clean slate by making the powerful choice to leave the past behind once and for all. Don’t merely survive, thrive!

In gratitude,

Marissa

Thrive, don't merely survive! Weekly Wisdom for LIFE!

2012-01-29T18:43:00.000-08:00

“Some of us have had terrible atrocities devastate our lives, and physically we may not have had the opportunity to escape a situation, but we do have power over our thoughts; we can choose to think differently about our misfortune. It is an attitude adjustment that requires effort—we use our free will to change our state of mind. Although it may be difficult to find a way to cope and endure trauma while directly in the midst of experiencing it, we need to know that when the danger has passed, we can make a choice to move through it instead of holding onto the feelings and pains associated with those events long after they have happened. We can choose to let the past go and thrive in the present, rather than just survive.”

“I don’t know how anybody could do that,” Eve said.

“It’s more common than you might think. We are all capable of overcoming hardship. Some people can endure horrific tragedies, yet they come through them stronger, with a powerful sense of purpose—Nelson Mandela is a compelling example. After engaging in anti-apartheid activities in South Africa, Mandela was convicted and sentenced to a life in prison. For twenty-seven years, he toiled in hard physical labour. But during his imprisonment, he gained worldwide support for his firm stance against racial discrimination and was subsequently released. He received a Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts and was eventually elected the first black president of South Africa!

“He could have stewed and lamented his fate while he laboured in the lime quarries, but he chose instead to focus on his goal of a multi-racial democracy. He chose not to let his circumstances defeat him!

“People like Mandela take the very difficult circumstances of their lives and choose to think of them as catalysts for change, finding empowerment, strength and courage as they conquer and overcome their adversities. Others do not.

“What makes those who triumph over obstacles so different from those who don’t? Nothing. They simply made a choice that they would not allow that negativity to dominate their lives.

“This may seem like an insensitive thing to say to all those who are struggling and suffering in their lives. But if you tried to look instead at the hope in that statement, you would see that anyone, regardless of how stuck in the mud they feel they are, no matter how low or how hurt they are, can find their way out of pain, because if one person can overcome hardship and adversity, then it’s possible for others to follow. And the path to that salvation is choice.”

Writing Tips and Amazing Author Interview!

2012-01-25T09:11:00.000-08:00

Awesome tips on writing sex scenes plus an AMAZING author interview on page 10! (psst you might recognize the amazing author :) Check it out!!

http://wcdr.s3.amazonaws.com/wordweaver/wwjanfeb2012.pdf

Weekly Wisdom for LIFE: Ego Distortion

2012-01-25T05:30:00.000-08:00

Enjoy this weeks excerpt from the book:

“The ego is like a heavy cloak that we wear made up of all our memories and past experiences, which seriously affects our perception of the world. Like filters, those memories and past impressions, which are based on our own unique life experiences, tint the world around us. Because of who we are and what we have gone through, the assumptions we have made and the beliefs we carry, we expect the world to behave and look a certain way. And we are constantly interacting and reacting to the world and our lives through the heavy influence of that cloak. Just as a pair of sunglasses alters the colours of the landscape around us, but once we take the shades off, we see the true colours without the influence of the sunglasses. We need to take the cloak, the sunglasses, off. We need to remove the ego in order to see things as they really are."

A Lusciously Yummy Beautiful Sexy You

2012-01-20T11:26:00.000-08:00

In our book LIFE: Living in Fulfillment Every Day, Grace encourages Eve to embrace the main goal, the big plan ... and that is to always follow what feels good! Embrace your passions; enflame your desires; do the things you enjoy, the things that invigorate you, that make you come alive!

And while we don’t speak about this directly in the book, sex could be one of the things that you might want to experience more of on this wondrous physical journey. As women, sex is a multifaceted quandary. When we are young, we may be bursting with sexual curiosity, but in expressing that part of ourselves we may find society, namely our peer group, inflicting derogatory labels on us. Or we may embrace the opposite philosophy and practice abstinence and still experience social pressure to change. When we are older, perhaps in a committed relationship, we might get caught up in our careers or parenting and sex is relegated to the ‘to do list.’ Or, our body image might dampen our fervour.

A friend of mine is very self critical about herself and her body. She is married to a wonderful guy who absolutely adores her, and accepts her for who she is ... but she will not accept herself. And because she erects a concrete wall of self-consciousness between them, their sex life has dwindled, in fact it is teetering on life support. She desperately craves intimacy, but she resists having sex, because she doesn’t like her body and feels self-conscious in bed with her husband. He doesn’t understand her torment, he tries to reassure her, but she can’t get past her negative beliefs.

Our ego with its negative self talk can ruin a perfectly good evening—or morning depending on your preferences. It’s hard to get ‘into the mood’ when our mood is wallowing in self inflicted cruelty and torment. There have been a lot of comments about a recent Plus Model Magazine article that showcased a plus sized model who looked luscious and vibrant, embracing a runway model. The article asks society to re-examine their views on what is beautiful.

Beauty comes from the inside. If you are a kind, loving, joyful soul, that beauty shines through and people naturally want to be around you. We all come in different shapes and sizes, like we say in the book, we are all a magnificent collection of unique and colourful containers but inside we are filled with the same essence ... a loving, beautiful soul. It is often hard appreciate that when society focuses on the container rather than the substance.

If my friend left her ego at the door, and invited her soul into the bedroom instead, I suspect she would have a very different experience—one grounded in mutual respect, adoration, and love. I suspect, she would rather enjoy herself and the time spent with her husband because her head wouldn’t be there sabotaging everything she truly wanted—a beautiful, honest, intimate connection with her partner.

Whether we doubt ourselves because of what society might think, or because of the limitations we impose on ourselves due to our negative criticism, it is critical to honour what feels good to us! When we are growing up, we are trying to navigate a world that revolves around the ego. In other words, we are very concerned with what image we present to the world around us— to the people around us. Should we be wild and adventurous, or conservative and practical? Our decisions determine how we present ourselves on a daily basis. And we present these images, these ‘holograms’ of ourselves to fit in, to be accepted. But at some point in our lives we want to take the bold step and turn off the hologram; embrace who we really are and what we really want, irrespective of other people’s opinions, judgments and expectations!

This is the path to fulfillment—to truly finding a life of happiness and delight. Let go of the need to ‘fit in,’ to ‘be perfect,’ to ‘be who everyone else wants you to be,’ and simply be yourself!

Try a little experiment. Next time you are feeling a little frisky and the mind tries to interject its opinions. Kindly, but firmly tell it to butt out. Leave the ego outside that bedroom door, with all its negativity and doubts. Imagine for a moment, that you are born anew, without any expectations, or judgments. Embrace a new mindset. Just for one night, see yourself for who you really are— a lusciously yummy beautiful sexy, wondrous and passionate woman.

Then, see if you can embrace that idea of yourself from this moment on!

In gratitude,

Marissa

Are you guilty of this? New Weekly Wisdom for LIFE!

2012-01-19T08:16:00.000-08:00

Enjoy this week's excerpt from the book ...

“I want you to realize the difference between a constructive release of energy versus a counterproductive release of energy.

“When we are reeling from the after-effects of having our triggers pushed, we will often call a friend or confidante and relay the injustices that have been set upon us by our current circumstances. We will moan and complain and basically work ourselves into a frenzy, whereby we relive and re-experience the emotional trauma all over again. Our wonderful, well-meaning friends will naturally take our side or agree about the poor treatment inflicted upon us, justifying our very one-sided, limited perspective on the subject. This type of process usually just reinforces our hypersensitive and over-stimulated trigger, and we aren’t actually able to release any of the pent-up energy that we’ve been holding on to from the initial situation. We just keep working ourselves up, allowing our emotions to escalate. We tell our story, we tell our side. We get caught up in a vicious cycle of reliving having our triggers getting pushed, over and over again, as we dwell on the subject. And, as you can see, this is rather counterproductive!”

Our New Cover Design!!!! What do you think?

2012-01-18T13:33:00.000-08:00

Countdown to LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2012-01-17T15:48:00.000-08:00

LIFE has moved into the post production stage!!!!

That means the publisher has sent it off to the printer!!

10 - 15 days till LIFE is live!

6 - 10 weeks till we see it on Amazon.ca, Chapters.indigo.ca, Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com!

The countdown is ON!

NEW Back Cover Copy—Sneak Peak! LIFE: coming end of January!

2012-01-16T14:56:00.000-08:00

Are you living your potential in this life? Are you truly fulfilled? Or do you often wonder what’s missing? Happiness is your birthright; your sole purpose in this life is to be happy and fulfilled. In LIFE: Living in Fulfillment Every Day, authors Annemarie Greenwood and Marissa Campbell provide a guide to help you find your own unique path to happiness and fulfillment.

Through a fictional, spiritual narrative, LIFE reveals the knowledge and tools necessary to live in fulfillment and happiness every day. Grace, an enlightened teacher, guides Eve, an unfulfilled woman, on a journey of self discovery and personal growth. The two women meet and spend a transformative day at the beach. Under the brilliant blue sky, amongst the sights and sounds of a small lakeside resort, they explore the path to LIFE.

Grace gently guides Eve toward self-awareness and empowerment via detailed explanations, visualization exercises, and thorough descriptions. Through Grace’s teachings and powerful message, like Eve, you too may experience an awakened sense of purpose, compelling you to make the powerful decision to live an authentic life, one in which you no longer compromise your happiness, but live each moment with passion, joy, and delight.

Do you know who you are ... really?

2012-01-13T09:39:00.000-08:00

We, each of us, have an identity that defies description. At the very heart, the very core of each person on this miraculous planet, we are ... well, we ARE! I have a tattoo that says ‘So Hum’ in Sanskrit—which means “I am.”

This is the realm of the Soul and cannot be defined—which contrasts sharply against the realm of the Ego—which is all about limiting labels and beliefs. Any time we use a label or adjective to describe ourselves—whether it is positive or negative—we are living through our Ego Identity: I am a mother, I am a friend, I am a lover, I am funny, I am a hard worker. All these things explain how we ‘see’ ourselves in the world. It is how, over our entire lifetime, we have come to perceive ourselves and our roles in this life experience.

But these labels can get us stuck and mired in ruts of unhappiness. Imagine each label and belief you have about yourself and your abilities as an invisible box, and you are standing smack dab in the middle—just like a mime. Now imagine exploring that box, palm each face of that invisible cube, and find you are unable to get out. Our Ego Identity is an invisible (unconscious) barrier to experiencing lasting peace of mind and well-being. Sure, we can have moments of happiness in our little boxes, but wouldn’t it be wonderful to experience happiness from this moment on? Labels and adjectives limit us because we are so focused on this identity—this person who behaves like this, or says things like this, or only does certain things like that—that we will not attempt to live outside those boundaries. For the majority of people, we are not even aware of the fact that we are interacting with life from within an invisible box.

In my Yoga Dance classes, which are a mixture of guided and free style movement set to awesome upbeat and energizing music, I encourage people to step outside their comfort zones—to try and open their boxes, stick their heads out and have an enthusiastic look around. We hide inside our boxes out of fear, for example we might worry about fitting in—being accepted or worse being rejected. And we will tamp down our passions in an effort to not rock the boat— to keep things the status quo.

We keep our labels and adjectives wrapped tightly around us, like a suffocating security blanket. “I am ‘shy,’ how can I possible get up and dance in front of all these people;” “I am ‘self-conscious’ and worry about people looking at me, judging me;” “I am ‘a terrible dancer,’ no point in even trying.” These are our boundaries, our walls, blocking us from experiencing peace and joy. We are unconsciously stuck inside our little boxes, we don’t even realize that the labels we use restrict us, limit us.

If you were to suddenly become someone without any labels ... if you were no longer ‘shy,’ or ‘self-conscious,’ or ‘a terrible dancer,’... if you were just ... you. If you just ... ARE, imagine how much fun you would have dancing to your own light, your own music, your own beat.

Each of us are, at the very core, a beautiful, enigmatic soul, whose entire purpose in this life is to have fun, and live joyfully. Think outside the box and know true peace and happiness!

In gratitude,

Marissa

Weekly Wisdom for LIFE: The Ripple Effect

2012-01-08T12:10:00.000-08:00

“Imagine life as a locomotive travelling at the speed of light. It is propelled forward by the consequences of everything that has come before. Everything has already been set in motion by all the events of the past. Then you, at the moment of your birth, decide to catch that train at that particular moment in time and space.”

Grace studied Eve closely. “You have been altering the world around you since your conception. And the lessons you must learn on this journey are based on the consequences of that interaction. We’ve already discussed the idea that our past experiences alter our view of the present. Do you remember when I spoke about the ego, with its sunglasses and filters?”

“Yes, you mentioned the ego distorts or discolours our reality, or the way we perceive things.” Eve responded.

“Exactly. All the things we have seen, heard, smelled, tasted and felt have left an indelible impression on the ego and therefore affect how we perceive the world.

“Basically, we take all our scholarly learning and all our behavioural learning—those tribal beliefs we garnered from interacting with our parents, friends, teachers, etc.—and we create a stew of opinions, biases, judgements and expectations of the world and people around us. We then think, speak and act under that strong influence. The lessons we must learn in life are based on the decisions we make while eating that stew … with our sunglasses on!”

Eve stared at Grace for a moment. “Okay, let me see if I’ve got this straight. You’re telling me that everything that has ever happened is a result of consequences in one form or another.”

“That’s right.”

“And that everything I’ve ever done has also created consequences, like throwing a rock into a pond creates a ripple effect.”

“Absolutely! And you never know what effect those ripples will have.”

“Okay, I see that. But you’re also telling me that the ego creates these ripples, these consequences. Why is that so important?”

“Well, if you are making decisions and acting from the ego, which is only interested in itself and keeps you separate and suffering by filling you with judgements and biases, can you imagine what the consequences, the effects, of that type of behaviour will have on the world? Not to mention the effects of that influence on you? Then imagine a different type of ripple, the kind that comes from acting from compassion, love and peace. The effects of that type of vibration or action will send a very different signal out into the world, thereby attracting love, peace and compassion back in your direction.

“There is a wonderful sentiment: If you were to consider every thought you have—of which you have tens of thousands a day, by the way—as an act of prayer, and that each prayer was always answered … whether good or bad, would you reconsider what you thought about? If you can grasp the significance of that concept, it will give you an indication of how our thoughts, words and actions affect us and those around us.”

Discern what you want out of LIFE and embrace it!

2012-01-05T07:08:00.000-08:00

Without dark you would not recognize light. Without sorrow you would not celebrate joy. Without hatred you would not cherish love and without struggle you would not appreciate peace.

I remember as a young girl crying to my mother that I would never fall in love. I would meet a guy and within a very short period of time I would discover the ‘fatal flaw.’ That is the term I use for the thing that drives you crazy and you can’t see past the behaviour, or trait, and the relationship ends. It could be something as simple as the way they say the word ‘can’t,’ to the way they chew their food, or it could be more complicated like how they treat your friend’s children, or the way they act when they get stressed. Whatever the flaw is ... it is fatal and you can’t get away from them fast enough.

I like to think of this as a selective process of elimination. You are weeding out the guys you don’t want to discover the guy you do want. Think of the power of attraction, the secret, manifesting your dreams ... uncovering what you don’t want in life allows you to discern what exactly it is that you do want so you can focus and draw it toward you. Say you want a guy who is great with kids, chews with his mouth closed, has a soft Australian accent, and practices yoga when he gets stressed. How would you determine this is the ideal guy for you if you hadn’t put the image through a thorough process of elimination?

This works the same for all aspects of our lives. When I was growing up, there were a few people who knew what they wanted. They knew with each fibre of their being that they wanted to be lawyers or veterinarians, or global peace makers. I believe they went through the same process of elimination, but came to their conclusions faster than others. For me, that process took decades. I finally reached the epiphany that I wanted to be a yoga teacher and writer by trying everything else. I took university courses, college courses; I jumped from job to job, all in an effort to discover what I was meant to do. I ended up with a very long list of what I didn’t want to do with the rest of my life, but that list helped me focus and recognize what my true desires were.

The next logical step of course is accepting what you want to do and doing it. This is a hard one for most people. I speak a lot about the word ‘but.’ This little word gets in the way of so many of our dreams and desires. Essentially we talk ourselves out of it. “I know you want to be a writer, but you need to get paid; we have to eat after all.” “Being a writer sounds great, but who’s going to read your work?” “I know you want to, but seriously, what if your writing sucks?”

I love the ego. It will tell us exactly what we need to hear to stop us dead in our tracks toward fulfilling our inner most desires for happiness. Why does it do that? Because it is the ego! It doesn’t want you running around following your whims. It has a real job, and social status, and operates on the expectations of others ... and it has spent years, in fact all of your life, developing itself. It doesn’t need some desire or dream to throw all its hard work into confusion and chaos. So it distracts you, pulls you away from your ‘misguided thinking,’ and helps you get back to what you were doing before. It pulls you back into pain, unhappiness, and struggle.

The ego can be used for good, if we recognize that whenever we are unhappy or in pain, or struggling, it is providing us with a vision of what we don’t want. And that little bit of awareness can help us perceive what it is we do want. Without unhappiness we would not treasure fulfillment. When you are struggling, or unfulfilled, search your heart for what you really want, and then take any and all steps, even baby steps toward that desire. Being happy is our birthright. Find what you want out of life, and embrace it!

Now, anyone know where I can find an Australian Yogi who chews with his mouth closed? :)

In gratitude,
Marissa

What's stopping you from living your dreams? No excuses in 2012!!!

2011-12-30T11:53:00.000-08:00

‘But’ an innocuous word. Three letters, simple and small, yet can cause so much suffering!

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine and he was telling me of his dream to fly. Ever since he was a young lad, he said, he had wanted to fly. He spent hours playing his flight simulator with dreams of one day holding the controls to the real thing.

“But,” he said, “I can’t.”

“Why not?” I had asked.

“Because I’m too old now. No one would ever hire me.”

“Why can’t you just learn to fly for the fun of it, the joy of it, for the culmination of a lifetime dream?”

He had sighed and changed the topic, letting the dream fall from his grasp and fade into the mists of perpetual disappointment.

For quite some time, one of my yoga students has been struggling with illness, and in an effort to regain some control of her life, felt she needed to organize her house: to physically get rid of things that were making her feel trapped and engulfed—much like her daily pain. ‘But,’ she would say, there is so much to do. I don’t know where to start. Then she would sigh, let the instinct to purge and cleanse slip through her fingers and continue with the weight of her world heavy on her shoulders.

In my meditation class, I often tell my students: ‘But’ is a sneaky little word, and one we need to watch out for. When we have a desire or something that impassions or enflames us with excitement or a burst of energy, watch out for the haunting spectre of ‘but’ hovering around, with its veiled miasma of negativity. ‘But’ is an often unconscious, yet powerful indicator of our tendency to thwart ourselves, and it is essential we recognize its siren call.

Our soul or true nature naturally wants to indulge in things that make us happy, that fill us with life. Our Ego, or ‘perceived identity’ wants to maintain the status, or identity or world we have created for ourselves.

Let me explain. In the example of my friend, his Ego or perceived identity revolves around his projecting a life of seriousness, one of a driven businessman who does not give into whims of fancy—like learning how to fly a plane. That does not fit into his ‘ideas’ or ‘beliefs’ about himself—or more to the point—the ‘ideas’ or ‘beliefs’ OTHER people have of who he is. They might laugh at him, or mock his childish dreams. “Old men don’t learn how to fly planes,” they might say, or “Why waste good money on something that has no reward—no purpose, you would be best to invest it in growing your business.”

Instinctively we know what makes us happy, what will make us feel good. We know that when we embrace a passion or desire, we are filled with energy and have a zest for life. ‘But,’ stops us dead in our tracks and leaves us with feelings of disillusionment and disappointment—in other words we are unhappy when we stop ourselves from following our instincts, our dreams, passions and desires.

A caveat here as always: feeding our desires and passions are wonderful catalysts for feeling good—for enjoying fully this wonderful life experience; however, in obtaining or seeking them, they can never hurt someone else—physically, mentally, emotionally, financially or spiritually. We are not here to fulfill our desires at the expense of others. We are all here to experience a life of happiness and fulfillment!

My yoga student, instinctively knows what will make her feel better ‘but’ she stops herself. I’m sure we can all think of instances where we have done the exact same thing—eating that piece of pie, skipped the trip to the gym, gone out when we were exhausted ‘but’ felt sorry for our friend—the list is virtually endless. So why do we keep doing this to ourselves?

Choice. Simply, we chose to ignore the urgings of our soul or our instincts, and we continue doing what we have always done—we continue to be the person we have spent years creating, the person others EXPECT us to be, and often when we ignore those desires, those gentle urgings, we become unhappy.

Like we say in our book LIFE, and in this week’s Weekly Wisdom for LIFE: it all comes down to a choice. Do you want to be happy or unhappy?

Looking forward to 2012—make a choice to choose happiness this year! Don’t make excuses to live your dreams. Follow your heart and soul. Step out of your comfort zone; find your authenticity; be the person you want to be, and live the life you’ve always wanted. Choose happiness from this moment on and embrace your fullest potential.

Wishing you a magical 2012 full of happiness, health, and abundance!

In gratitude,

Marissa

Weekly Wisdom for LIFE: Happiness or Unhappiness—What are you creating?

2011-12-27T09:53:00.000-08:00

“What if you took a nap or read for the sheer pleasure of it?”

Grace had posed the question so flippantly, Eve had to stop and carefully study her passive expression. She knitted her brows together in consternation. “Even if I could take a nap during the day, why would I?”

“There are some things we do by sheer survival instinct, a deep, inner knowing that keeps us safe from danger, like not touching a hot stove. Other things we feel guided to do by our intuition, like when we decide to finally make that phone call, which results in a new job or new relationship. But most of the things we do, Eve, are because we unconsciously feel compelled or obliged to do them. They have nothing at all to do with instinct or listening to our gut.

“We feel compelled to act a certain way or say certain things because of our belief patterns and habitual ways of responding or thinking about life. You feel you need to earn money or work toward a career rather than just taking some time to rest or read for pleasure for you. You would feel as though your time was being wasted or used frivolously. Don’t you think there are people out there who do just that, who enjoy finding some quiet time during the day all to themselves? Perhaps they just putter around their house or in their garden. Or perhaps they work on some art project or hobby. What makes it okay for them and not you?” She raised her eyebrow, giving Eve a questioning look.

“Perhaps they already have great jobs or are retired and have lots of time on their hands?” Eve quipped.

Grace shook her head. “No, it’s all about perception—each person’s belief, or view, about any given situation determines their thoughts and actions,” she stated simply. “It’s your belief that taking time for yourself is wasteful and unproductive; and that makes something as innocent as taking a nap unacceptable in your mind.

“For others, their belief justifies those actions; it’s okay to take naps. I want you to realize that what you believe creates your comfort or discomfort and, in the end, your happiness or unhappiness."

Learn How to Deflate a Negativity Tornado

2011-12-19T06:29:00.000-08:00

In one of the recent Weekly Wisdoms for LIFE, I highlighted an excerpt from the book about Detachment, or the art of letting go. Today in this post, I want to help you understand how it applies to your LIFE.

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine about divorce. She went through a horrendous process, in fact is still knee deep in the trench of marital dismemberment, and she is consumed by hatred, vengeance, bitter pettiness and maliciousness. She is not interested in pulling herself out of the trenches; she has built her identity around being a victim and is lashing out with every ounce of energy she has. Sitting down with her was like eating lunch with a negative tornado.

Then, I reflect on another friend of mine, one of my yoga students, who is the epitome of grace under pressure. He has been fighting a gruelling divorce for several years now and despite the mental, physical, financial and emotional stress this process has placed on him, he refuses to give into the dark side. He makes every effort to rise above the pettiness and bitterness, and approaches the challenge with humility and humour. He is a beautiful spirit.

So I ask you as the reader, what is the difference between these two people? Both have had horrible circumstances thrust into their lives, both have mired in the depths of divorce—and both divorces were and still are equally as difficult—yet their outlooks are completely different.

The difference is that my yoga student learned long ago that he didn’t want to carry the negative albatross around his neck anymore and made a choice to leave the negativity behind. He chose to let it go; he chose detachment. Which, as I mentioned in the previous post, is not a nonchalant, or cold hearted attitude, it is a conscious decision to rise above negative feelings, thoughts and actions. It is a higher perspective, one of wisdom, where we realize that holding onto negativity robs us of our energy, causes dis-ease in the body, mind, and spirit and doesn’t feel good!

In any given situation, if we make the choice to let the negativity go, we reinvigorate our energy, we release stress, which helps our body, mind, and spirit heal, and we feel better, much better!

It may seem difficult to fathom, when we are knee deep in the mire of negativity, that pulling ourselves out of it hinges on a choice, a simple choice to leave it all behind. But what do you have to lose by trying? Just an albatross and a lot of negative baggage.

Let it all go, and live the LIFE you’ve always wanted.

In gratitude,

Marissa

Are you honouring yourself this Christmas? Quality vs Quantity.

2011-12-16T06:22:00.000-08:00

It’s that time of year again. The crunch, the credit, the ka’ching of the register, the stress, the bustle, the cold, the weary, the depression: Christmas.

It can mean so many different things to so many different people, but deep inside many of us just want it to mean loved ones, time spent together, laughter, joy and peace—quality not quantity. So where did we all jump track into the craziness that is now a commercial, superfluous holiday?

It doesn’t matter how we got here, or why; what does matter is honouring what we really want deep down inside, and finding ways to articulate that to others.

So much of our lives are spent saying the words ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’. In our book LIFE, we have a trick to try and help our readers become aware of this knee jerk reaction, this unconscious crux. We call it the SOS alert – the ‘should or shouldn’t’ alert. Whenever we say the words should or shouldn’t we need to stop and pay attention. Usually a ‘should’ or a ‘shouldn’t’ in both our internal or external dialogue means we are not thinking for ourselves; it means we are being influenced by the expectations, judgments and opinions of others. For example, say you would like to buy everyone a share in a well in a third world country. But you stop yourself and say, I ‘shouldn’t’ do that, my mother-in-law, or brother or______ (you insert the name), would not appreciate that. They are all expecting gifts, so you cave and buy the gifts: which leaves you with a hollow feeling in your gut—a reluctance, a sadness. You have allowed yourself to be swept up in other people’s expectations, rather than listening to your own wants and desires.

The key thing to notice is ... does it feel good? How you feel about a decision, a choice, an action or a thought is a big indicator of whether or not you are following what will ultimately make you happy versus, what you ‘believe’ you ‘should’ do to make everyone else happy.

We are here to live in happiness and fulfillment every day. If you want to give big, extravagant gifts for the holiday season, wonderful, but make sure you are giving for the right reasons. Ask yourself, do I feel pressured to give these particular gifts, do I feel as though everyone expects me to cook the big turkey dinner, am I doing this because I genuinely want to, or is there a spectre of expectation? If you cannot afford it, if there is stress created because of it … stop, reconsider what you are doing, and try to find a way to honour how you feel, and what you feel is right. Those who get the beautiful card telling them that the money normally spent on their gifts, just bought a village a goat, or helped to save the rainforest, or protect the polar bears, may not leap up with big whoops of glee, but inside you will feel the good that comes from being authentic and honouring yourself.

Merry Christmas!

In gratitude,

Marissa Campbell and Annemarie Greenwood

Authors of LIFE: Living in Fulfillment Every Day

The Art of Letting Go, Learning Detachment. Weekly Wisdom for LIFE

2011-12-13T12:22:00.000-08:00

Detachment is the art of letting go. When people think of detachment, they think of being insensitive, cold or emotionally void—a kind of numb, nonchalant, indifferent attitude, where we walk around and interact with people projecting an image of being aloof and uncaring. That is not the detachment I want you to embrace, Eve. Detachment comes when we stop fighting the flow of life—when we no longer react to everything that gets thrown our way but accept it and move on.

‘It is what it is’ is a valuable statement to embrace, in that it always is just what it is. The problem is not that life is the way it is and that things constantly happen and inevitably change; the problem lies in the quandary that we have a particularly troublesome habit of pinning the labels good or bad to life. Without that label or categorization of things, events and circumstances, things are just things, events are just events, and circumstances are just circumstances. We may not want to dwell on them or experience them for long, but if we remove the label of good or bad, they are really just what they are, another set of lessons and experiences.

Don’t get caught up in the label game. Move toward feeling better if you are not happy. Do your best to create actions that will lead you toward fulfillment. Change your attitude and your behaviours by following what feels good, and release the counterproductive impulse to label everything.

What's motivating you?

2011-12-06T06:26:00.000-08:00

Here is an article I wrote for Ezine Articles:
In gratitude,
Marissa

What's Motivating You?

What motivates you to act a certain way or say or do certain things?

When we are living 'unconsciously' most of our actions or decisions are based on patterns of behaviour and thought processes that we have learned from our past interactions with our 'tribes'. These tribes are our family, both our parental/birth family, and any expanded family that now includes wife/husband and children. Our tribes also include our community or social networks, our work contacts, political affiliations, religious community, ethnic and cultural background, as well as the entire global framework and network.

These 'tribes', or first relationships, are where we learned all our attitudes, our belief systems, and our habits or behaviours that we rely on when we interact with life—with all its colourful people and situations. They define how we view others, and just as importantly how we view our selves, our place, and our status in each of these relationships. That is A LOT of influence.

At some point in our lives though, we need to understand that these beliefs that were created so long ago, when the 'tribe' spoke for us and through us, may not be what we need now. Just as when you grow older those favourite shoes no longer fit right, some of the beliefs, ideas, prejudices, habits and behaviours may no longer 'feel' right to us anymore: may no longer 'fit' our life anymore.

Even if we notice that we sometimes react to situations instinctually—without any foresight, because that behaviour is so deeply ensconced in our minds—how do we change such deeply held beliefs and habits?

Awareness is the key to any type of change. Become aware of your motivations. Become aware of your reactions to people or situations and try and determine whether you are thinking for yourself - or if you are acting on some 'hidden' expectation that you place on yourself. These expectations are 'beliefs' that we SHOULD act a certain way. The big flag word here is 'should'. Any time you say 'I should do that, or I shouldn't do that' I want you to examine your motivation. If you are saying should or shouldn't it means you 'feel' you should act a certain way and this will always imply that there is a deep expectation on you from your tribal roots - pulling you back down into a familiar way of reacting to life. It is a knee jerk, unconscious reaction and it is because you 'feel', based on past influence, that you are supposed to behave a certain way. If you learned early in life to respect your elders and were corrected any time you questioned something a person of authority said... can you perceive where that same belief now might cause you to take criticism from a boss, parent, co-worker etc and be unable to say anything, except in your own head where you will hold onto anger or resentment. Perhaps that 'belief' doesn't fit anymore.

The fascinating part of examining your motivations and beliefs is that you will be truly surprised to discover how much of your day is actually running on autopilot. There comes a point in our evolution as physical and spiritual beings that we have to 'wake up,' to become conscious—'aware'—of what we are doing and WHY we are doing it.

Do our decisions make us feel empowered and vitalized, or do we hold onto secret desires, like really telling our boss how we feel, burying them deep inside our own tormented minds—and therefore tormented and dis-eased bodies.

Examine your motivations and the expectations you place on yourself and see if you can find your 'authentic' voice. The voice inside that says... This is who I am. Accept me for who I am, accept my choices, my preferences, my personal beliefs—devoid of the influence of others—accept me as I am.

And if they don't, perhaps its time you re-examine the dynamic of 'control' in that particular relationship. People who stand up against the crowd can be ostracized and victimized, but that's only if you let the sticks and stones break your bones. If you stand on your own two feet and find the power in self-sufficiency you can rise above their influence and truly find the peace of mind you have been searching for. It was never out 'there', it has always been inside, just waiting for you to find yourself.

Good luck in your search!

Marissa Campbell is a yoga instructor and owner of Pure Intention Yoga Studio in Brooklin, Ontario, Canada. She is also the co-author of the 'profound', 'life altering', spiritual, self-help book LIFE Living In Fulfillment Every Day

Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marissa_Campbell

www.lifelivinginfulfillmenteveryday.com

www.pureintention.ca

LIFE: A Rising Star!

2011-12-02T12:13:00.000-08:00

LIFE has just been recognized by our publisher as a Rising Star - which means that our book is among the "best of what [they] have to offer"!!!!

LIFE: coming in January 2012

Weekly Wisdom: What if you changed your perspective on LIFE?

2011-12-02T05:35:00.000-08:00

“What if you viewed your life as it’s happening right now from a different perspective? One where nothing is lacking, where nothing else is needed to make you happy? Rather than seeing your life through a sense of lack, as if something were missing, see your life as perfectly flawed just the way it is and make peace with that.”

Interview with Marissa Campbell

2011-11-30T14:20:00.000-08:00

Check it out ...

From BookMarketingBuzzBlog:

Bookmarketingbuzzblog.blogspot.com Brian Feinblum’s views, opinions, and ideas expressed in this blog are his alone and not that of his employer. You can follow him on Twitter @theprexpert and email him at brianfeinblum@gmail.com. He feels more important when discussed in the third-person.

Interview With Author Marissa Campbell

1. Your new book is due out in January, called LIFE. What inspired you to write it? LIFE: Living in Fulfillment Every Day was a joint effort. I wrote it with my beautiful co-author Annemarie Greenwood. We are both registered yoga instructors and LIFE was inspired by our yoga students. When we talked about finding true happiness and lasting fulfillment in our classes many of our students expressed frustration with the self-help books on the market, saying that they didn't really answer their questions, or that the concepts were too esoteric. So we decided to write a book that would answer their questions, but in a really down to earth, accessible manner. And we did that by creating a story, a dialogue between Eve, an unfulfilled woman and Grace, an enlightened teacher. The two women spend a transformative day at the beach exploring the path to fulfillment.

2. How do you hope people will react to your book and utilize what it offers? LIFE is unique. The book incorporates detailed explanations, visualization exercises and thorough descriptions that you will not find in other self-help books. And since they are all creatively presented as part of a story, they are literally as comfortable and relatable as two women talking. We have powerful concepts like the SOS alert, which helps you become more aware of the words you use every day and their impact on your life; and the Waffle Meter, which helps you determine which choices, thoughts, and actions propel you toward happiness and fulfillment and which ones pull you further away from what really matters most to you. Our hope is that everyone takes something away from the book that will propel them onto the path of living a life of happiness and fulfillment.

3. What do you love most about being an author? I love that I can help people and that I can reach them with my words. It’s all about sharing an intimate connection with the reader.

4.      What advice do you have for fellow authors?

1)    Bum glue and perseverance! Keep your bottom glued to your chair; don’t give up! Follow your dream; believe in yourself, and keep writing! Always do what makes you happy; do what you love and you can’t help but succeed!

2)    Make it happen! If you have a great idea, write it down (see bum glue and perseverance), get it professionally edited then if a traditional publisher doesn’t pick it up—look into self-publishing. If you want it badly enough don’t take no for an answer. Make your own solutions!

5. Where do you see opportunities in the publishing marketplace? I firmly believe that if we want something badly enough we will put in the time, effort and sheer determination necessary to succeed. In essence we will it into being. And today’s marketplace offers unlimited potential to achieve our humble goals of publication; it is a wonderful time to be a writer! For example, if you decide to self-publish, essentially you have an opportunity to jump the middle man and connect directly to your readers! Whether it’s through eBooks or print books, self-publishing offers tremendous opportunities for writers. Though that being said, it’s not about slapping a bunch of words down and throwing it out into cyber space. If you want to be seen as professional, if you want your book to be taken seriously, you need to seek advice on craft and have it professional edited – and I don’t mean by well intentioned friends. Then you need to hire someone to promote your book. After all, no one is going to read it if they don’t know it exists!

Ever wondered what Karma is? Your new Weekly Wisdom for LIFE

2011-11-27T14:34:00.000-08:00

Grace drew a pattern of intersecting lines in the sand. “As we move through life, two elaborate patterns are fundamental to our conscious experience. One is made by karma; the other is made by our soul.

“When a weaver sits down to create fabric, the warp, the vertical threads, are held taut by the loom. The weaver, using a shuttle, weaves the horizontal threads, the weft, over and under, in and out, around the stationary warp. The weft must alter its course to manoeuvre around the rigid warp.

"Karma as the rigid warp, presents each of us with obstacles that provide us with unique lessons—the consequences that arise out of each and every thought, action and word spoken through the ego in our lifetime.

“Our soul, on its joyful path as the weft, weaves through and around, learning from each obstacle in its path. Every moment we must learn from the consequences of the past as we pursue a life of happiness and fulfillment. Our success in overcoming those obstacles and learning from the past determines whether or not we find true happiness. This is the primordial dance between karma and our soul, and it has shaped the fabric of life since time immortal.”

Frosting morning reads!

2011-11-22T10:42:00.000-08:00

Woke up to a frosty morning today. White rooftops as far as the eye could see.

As the weather turns colder, there is nothing better than snuggling up near the fire with a good book ... a good book like LIFE perhaps?

LIFE: Living in Fulfillment Every Day

Coming January 2012!

LIFE coming January 2012!!!

2011-11-21T11:13:00.000-08:00

Stay tuned everyone ...

LIFE is in production as I type and will be released in January 2012!!

Coming to:

chapters.indigo.ca, amazon.ca, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com and more!!!!! Check back for updates!

Weekly Wisdom for LIFE: Energy as a commodity

2011-11-19T13:02:00.000-08:00

Each week we will post a new insight from our award winning book.

Here's your first ...

Weekly Wisdom for LIFE!

"Energy flows in and out of us, and we need to appreciate where we are spending it. If we think of energy as a limited commodity, depending upon where we decide to spend it, it either translates into a good investment or a bad investment.

“So if we make a decision and our action or choice inspires, energizes or revitalizes us, we can consider that a good investment of our energy. If, on the other hand, our decision or choice weakens or drains our energy, enthusiasm, inspiration or motivation, then we can consider that a bad investment of our energy."

Read an Excerpt from Chapter One!!!

2011-11-19T09:31:00.000-08:00

“You seem troubled,” announced a voice from behind her.

Eve turned around to see an attractive, young woman with long, blonde hair that cascaded in soft waves down over her shoulders smiling at her from one of the beach chairs on the deck. She had the most striking blue eyes Eve had ever seen. They were a bright, cerulean blue, like an icy glacial lake reflecting the brilliance of a noon sky.

“Yes, I suppose I am.” Eve smiled shyly back.

“Hard to leave, isn’t it?” She tilted her head slightly, her eyes gazing out over the calm, peaceful water.

“Yes,” she said resolutely, “it is.”

They were both silent for some time as they watched the morning sun crest the sandy dunes, its golden rays caressing the treetops as the mist and water shimmered with their beautiful dance.

“Do you come up here often?” Eve asked, reluctantly taking her eyes away from the view.

The woman smiled at her. “No, this is my first time here. It’s absolutely beautiful, isn’t it?”

“I’m Grace. Pleased to meet you.” She smiled and reached across the small void between the chairs, cordially shaking Eve’s hand. “You seemed deep in thought. If you don’t mind me asking, is something bothering you?”

Eve leaned back into her chair and sighed. “No, I don’t mind you asking. But, to be honest with you, I’m not exactly sure what’s troubling me.” She looked over at Grace and shrugged her shoulders in defeat. “I had a wonderful week. Perhaps it’s just hard to leave, after all,” she answered.

“Hmm. Could be, I suppose, but you don’t sound terribly convinced,” Grace replied, looking intently at Eve.

“Being rational, I suspect, has little to do with it,” Grace offered.

Eve smiled politely but quickly dropped back into her silent musing. She felt a deep inner desire to just unload everything, to discharge, to release all her burdens onto this complete stranger. But wouldn’t that be selfish of me? she wondered, to encumber this poor woman with all my issues? Besides, how could this woman possibly relate to all the various intricacies in my life? Does she have kids too? Is she married or working? She doubted it, looking across at Grace. She seemed far too serene to be responsible for children, a husband and a career to boot.

“Are you here by yourself?” Grace interrupted her reverie.

“Oh, no, I’m here with my family. My husband took our two boys out fishing this morning, so I have the day to myself. What about you?”

They sat smiling at their shared coincidences for a moment. But when Eve’s eyes travelled back over the water, the veil of melancholy slipped quickly over her features again, and she let the mood pull her back down as she dropped deep into thought. She looked cautiously over at Grace and, deciding to throw caution to the wind, she inquired, “Do you ever feel as though you’re not completely fulfilled? That there is really nothing major to worry about or complain about and yet … and yet you just don’t seem happy?” She struggled to clarify. “I mean, I am happy. I’m happy with my life and my situation but …” She paused. “I just don’t know.” She tucked a wayward lock of hair behind her ear, searching for elucidation and feeling utterly lost.

“I used to,” Grace replied honestly, “but I don’t anymore. I found what I was looking for.”

“Really?” Eve’s interest was piqued. “And what was that?”

Grace smiled. “Why, the same thing that you’re searching for, I suppose. I wanted to feel fulfilled and whole, and,” she replied, her smile growing wider, “now I do.”

“And just how did you manage that?” Eve wondered.